Zombie Bunnies

The Tale of
Zombie Bunny vrs. the Dragon

Are you all tucked safely into your beds?
It's now Story-time...

In the Valley of Nod, long before mortal people roamed across the land... there lived little forest creatures of all kinds. And of these forest creatures lived and hopped and played a village of bunnies. Now these were not ordinary bunnies, mind you. These were very special bunnies because they just so happened to be zombie bunnies. How did they become zombified, you might ask? That's beside the point of tonight's story. We however are going to tell the story of one of them... in this case, the smallest of the small of the Zombie Bunnies --with the big name of Gashleycrumb Foo-foo.

One day, Gashleycrumb Foo-foo had a thought .... which is really quite an acheivement, because when you're a zombie you spend a good amount of your time aimlessly walking about bumping into trees, bumping into your neighbors, and eating your neighbors' brains. For on this fateful day Gashleycrumb Foo-foo the zombie bunnie decided to go on a quest. So the very next day, Foo-foo (as she was often called for short) began on her journey, which would take her far far from home in the Valley of Nod. She was searching for something that belonged to her, but was taken away by a terrible darkness of Evil.

Because no one was big enough to stop it, Evil had spread where it hadn't been before... even into the Valley of Nod. And now all the peaceful woodland sprites who never harmed anyone were touched and troubled by it. Even Foo-foo. She was searching for something stolen from her -- her most prized possesion -- her own heart, which was two sizes bigger than any other forest creature's heart. Now, alone and all on her own, Foo-foo bravely went searching for it. She only knew that it lay somewhere beyond the Black Forest in the Land of Shadows where many sprites before her had gone... None had ever returned.

The only thing to ever come out of the Forest of Shadows were stories of a fearsome dragon who breathed fyre. This mean old dragon was vicious, wicked and nasty. The zombie bunny was told that if she should ever meet the fearsome beast she would surely perish!

But Foo-foo had made up her mind, zombified though it was.

She was determined not to be like all the other zombie bunnies before her, so she marched straight ahead into the unknown on her search for her missing heart.

The days passed .... far from home and far into her journey, she emerged out of the Black Forest of Shadows and gazed into a wide valley before her she had never lain her bulging yellow eyes on before. In the middle of this valley was a forbidding looking hill with an even more forbidding looking castle clutching to it's lofty peak. The castle was nothing but blackness, and a dark cloud hung over it gloomily. It was the most terrible place the zombie bunny had ever seen.

But knowing Foo-foo... she was all the more curious. And it just made her all the more determined to journey ahead (that's a nice way of saying she was more stubborn than smart).

So little Foo-foo climbed up the craggy hillside. She was good at just about everything she put her mind to, zombified though it was, and she scaled it like a monkey. As she approched the top, she heard a strange sound...

...like the sound made by a some poor pathetic trapped little animal.

Foo-foo wondered if she would be the next victim. BUT!... she was a brave little zombie... and she wouldn't turn back until she tried to rescue the trapped creature of the castle (that's another nice way of saying she was more stubburn than smart).

The Castle of Shadows loomed high above Foo-foo's fuzzy little head as she reached the hill's summit... and the dull rumble of thunder vibrated against the cold stoney walls as she walked straight up to the castle's heavy front gate. Foo-foo knew this was no place for a someone like her... but she was the bravest of all the zombie bunnies and she stood as straight and tall as her little body could and gave her cottony tail a shake. She could see the castle didnt look like your average craggy hilltop castle. The wide-open doorway reminded her more of the entrance to an ancient cave.... she tried to look into the pitch dark blackness.

Suddenly two bright smoldering eyes glared out of the dark dead ahead. She realized she was face to face with... it was the fabled dragon! =o

Poor little Foo-foo had nothing to defend herself with...

...except for the one weapon she always had but never really realized it until now. Without thinking she ran straight ahead charging toward the unsuspecting monster's awful face...

"What do you want, small little creature of the forsest? Tell me so I know before I eat you up!"

Without a word Foo-foo began to dance around the dragon, walzting somewhat stiltedly (she was a zombie after all) but the dragon was too spell-bound to care. She spun closer, and closer until she was close to the great toothy face. Then she asked him something, quite strange.

"Can you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"The 'thwang', I'm waiting for it."

The dragon sat there, puzzling for a second, when suddenly there was a loud "THWANG!" right upon his scaley head. And just as suddenly the dragon was down for the duration (that means he was out cold!).

Foo-foo was still holding onto her cast iron skillet when she shrieked "There it is! I heard it." That my friends, was her secret weopon, for not only was Foo-foo a strong headed zombie, she was also a culinary expert and never traveled anywhere far from home without taking along her kitchen utensils.

With that one powerful "Thwang!", the whole shadowy hill trembled and shook... the very earth moved. The sky broke through, brightened with the unfamiliar rays of sunshine as the dark cloud over the castle disappeared. And all about, almost magically zombie bunnies appeared, tens of them, hundreds of them, thousands of them! Carrying torches, pitchforks, and all marching upon the castle. They'd climbed up the craggy hill and gathered around Foo-foo, walking slowly, closing in upon the unconcious dragon. It seemed the old beastie was done for now.

.......

Then something peculiar happened, as if enough peculiarities hadn't happened already in this rather strange tale.

The full new light streamed down on the dragon for the first time in a very, very long time... and Foo-foo could see all the terrible stories about the beast weren't true at all. He had been chained inside this dark castle, helpless and trapped. The wailing sounds had all come from him. It was the dragon himself that she had come in here to save.

The dragon shook its head, looked at little Foo-foo and spoke to her. He knew she would come some day. He'd been held here by a curse for ages beyond memory, but he always knew a rescuer would come. The shackles and chains fell off of him like brittle glass. And with that, the dragon pulled out an emerald box which glowed brilliantly. He held it shimmering before Foo-foo's wide-open eyes. She looked and thought she recognized what shined so brightly inside the box. It was Foo-foo's Heart!

Foo-foo jumped and ran to the dragon. She wrapped her arms around him as tightly as she could, and the dragon lifted her up in his and spread out his withered little wings for the first time. And that mean, wicked, vicious, cruel dragon who was so bad and evil and nasty became Foo-foo's pet from that day on ... and she had finally found her heart ... and that dragon had finally found his...

Oh Dear...

I am so sorry! I skipped a page and was reading the ending to the wrong story. Let me tell the correct ending for you now.

What I really should have read is this. Actually what happened after the loud "Thwang!" and the zombie hordes appeared is that all the zombie bunnies, after first doing a great deal of bumping into the walls and each other, swarmed upon the dragon and afterward they all ate a great feast. And that's how we come to have today's skillet dish known as "Cerveau de Dragon ala Foo-foo."

And That, my children, is a true story.