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 Best Lil Chathouse 1

 Good Times Gazette 

 

Vol. 5  Ed. 1

 (Part 2)

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Contents....



(Part 2)

Birthdays

Kat's Kraziness 

From the CootieGrax Files



 

  ¤§¤º*º¤§¤ ¤§¤º*º¤§¤ ¤§¤º*º¤§¤ ¤§¤º*º¤§¤ ¤§¤º*º¤§¤ 





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                        (--|___|    _,  _  _        (--|___) '  _ -|- |_   _|  _

                          _|    |_ (__| |_)|_)(_|     _|___) | |   |  |  | (_| (_| (_|

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.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._.:*~*:._~*:.





                                                   wwWWww

                                                       [o][o]

                                            ----ooO--(__)--Ooo---- 

~*~ JANUARY BIRTHDAYS ~*~



 01/08 ~~ Rebel 588



˜˜˜˜˜˜  Háþþý ßïr†hÐáý †õ ÿøü¸  Háþþý ßïr†hÐáý †õ ÿøü¸   Háþþý ßïr†hÐáý †õ   «¤«¤«¤«¤  Rebel   ¤»¤»¤»¤» 

  Háþþý ßïr†hÐáý †õ ÿøü...!!!!!! ˜˜˜˜˜˜



                          ¤     ¤    ¤      ¤    ¤     ¤

                          ÎÎÎ    ÎÎÎ    ÎÎÎ     ÎÎÎ    ÎÎÎ    ÎÎÎ   

                          ÏÏÏ    ÏÏÏ    ÏÏÏ     ÏÏÏ    ÏÏÏ    ÏÏÏ

                          ÏÏÏ    ÏÏÏ    ÏÏÏ     ÏÏÏ    ÏÏÏ    ÏÏÏ

                      <^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^>

                    <øøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøøø>

                <£ð£ð£ð£ð£ð£ð£ð£ð£ð£ð£ð£ð£ð£ð>

              <ǢǢǢǢǢǢǢǢǢǢǢǢǢǢÇ>

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       <¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶>

      —–—————————————————————— 

          

I would like to wish everyone a very SAFE & HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

.   _O_¥    ¥_O_     _O_¥   ¥_O_    Raising

.   /|_|          |_|\      /|_|         |_|\        A      

.     /\           /\         /\          /\       Toast!!

1999..................Here we go with another year flying by...............



Just a reminder ...If you do not see your name in the Birthday column, it is not because I forgot you, I do not have you on my list!! So e-mail ME & I will make sure you are not left out ever again!! Thanks guys & see ya'll next month! ;-))

This is...............TeeBabe1 ø¿ø....... 







(¯`'·.:)¸.·'´¯):)¸.·'´¯):)¸.·'´¯):)¸.·'´¯):)¸.·'´¯):)¸.·'´¯):)¸.·'´¯):)¸.·'´¯)





** »^..^« Kat's Kraziness »^..^« **

by KRAZEK0001





Ghandi walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that his feet became quite thick and hard. Even when he wasn't on a hunger strike, he did not eat much and became quite thin and frail. He also was quite a spiritual person. Furthermore, due to his diet, he ended up with very bad breath.



He became known as a super-calloused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis



*Submitted by CootieGrax





 She was sooooooooooooooooo blonde that.....



 ... she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

 

 ... she thought a quarterback was a refund.

 

 ... she tried to put M&Ms in alphabetical order.



 ... she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.

 

... under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics."

 

... she tripped over a cellular phone.

 

 ... she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said "concentrate."

 

 ... she asked for a price check at the Dollar store.

 

 ... it took her two hours to watch "60 Minutes."

 

 ... she studied for a blood test - and failed.

 

 ... she sold her car for gas money!

 

 ... when she hear that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

 

 ... she thought Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.

 

 ... when she went to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.

 

*Submitted by Malina





The blonde reported for her University final examination which consists of "yes/no" type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Yes for Heads and No for Tails. Within half an hour she is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out.



During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating.



The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on.



"I finished the exam in half and hour. But, she says, I am rechecking my answers."



*Submitted by Kelly





Ok, remember to send me your jokes! As long as they're printable. 

 

KRAZEK0001 

 That's all for now, I'll Meow at ya later

 Meeoow  ;-)





(¯`'·.:)¸.·'´¯):)¸.·'´¯):)¸.·'´¯):)¸.·'´¯):)¸.·'´¯):)¸.·'´¯):)¸.·'´¯):)¸.·'´¯)





••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

 From the CootieGrax Files...

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Just some thoughts for 1999!



  Fabric Softener:

       My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women were coming up to me (sniff) 'Married!' (walk off). That's how they mark their territory! You can take off that ring, but it's hard to get that April Fresh scent out of your clothes.

  

       Cripes! My wife's from the Midwest. Very nice people there. Very wholesome. They use words like 'cripes!' 'For cripes sake! Who would that be, Jesus Cripes? The son of 'Gosh?' Of the church of 'Holy Moly'?

       I'm not making fun of it. You think I wanna burn in 'Heck'? 

   

  Morning Differences:

      Men and women are different in the morning. The men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it! We just wake up and we want you! And the women are thinking, 'How can he want me the way I look in the morning?' It's because we can't see you! We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve!

               

  Mysteries of Women:

       I'm out with my wife the other day. She says, 'My feet hurt.' I say, 'Well, why did you wear those shoes?' She says, 'I didn't know we were going to be walking!' ... Hello? Keep up with evolution! We're walking now! Feel free to slither! She was wearing high heels, that's why. They are the worst invention. Aren't they, ladies? I heard that women wear those shoes because they make your butt and your breasts stick out. Jeez ... Why not just shove some shoes in your underwear? You'd be a lot more comfortable.

   

  Pregnancy:

       It's weird when pregnant women feel the baby kicking. They say, 'Oh my god! He's kicking. Do you wanna feel it?' I always feel awkward reaching over there. Come on! It's weird to ask someone to feel your stomach. I don't do that when I have gas. "Oh my god! ... Give me your hand! ... It won't be long now ..."

   

  Grandma:

       My grandmother has a bumper sticker on her car that says, 'Sexy Senior Citizen'. You don't want to think of your grandmother that way, do you? Out entering wet shawl contests! Makes you wonder where she got that dollar she gave you for your birthday!

         

  Reverse Life Cycle:

       The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you got to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement! You do drugs, alchohol, you party, you get ready for high school! You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating ... you finish off as a gleam.

               

  Prisons:

       Did you know that it costs forty thousand dollars a year to house each prisoner? Jeez, for forty thousand bucks a piece I'll take a few prisoners into my house! I live in Los Angeles. I already have bars on the windows. I don't think we should give free room and board to criminals. I think they should have to run twelve hours a day on a treadmill and generate electricity. And if they don't want to run, they can rest ... in the chair that's hooked up to the generator. 

         

  Award Shows:

       Can you believe how many award shows they have now? They have awards for commercials! The Cleo Awards. A whole show full of commercials. I taped it and then I fast-forwarded through the whole thing.  

        

  Phone-in Polls:

       You know those shows where people call in and vote on different issues? Did you ever notice there's always like 18% "I don't know"! It costs 90 cents to call up and vote ... They're voting "I don't know!" "Honey, I feel very strongly about this. Give me the phone ..." (into phone) "I DON'T KNOW!" (hangs up, looking proud) Sometimes you have to stand up for what you believe you're not sure about!" This guy probably calls up phone sex girls for $2.95 ... (into phone) "I'm not in the mood."

        

  Answering Machine:

       Did you ever hear one of those corny, positive messages on someone's answering machine? "Hi, It's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is 'Share the love!'" (Beep) "Uh, yeah ... this is the VD clinic calling ... Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love!"



That's it for CootieGrax..........Happy New Year...and keep thinking!!!





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:::shakin my Etch-A-Sketch:::

on to Part Three...