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Best Lil Chathouse 1
Good Times Gazette
Vol. 4 Ed. 6
(Part 1)
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Contents....

(Part 1)
A Word from Me
From Tre's Desk
BC's Park Bench
In Jas' Opinion
From the Cootie Grax Files
Queries for Quin


(Part 2)
The Birthday List
Seen in BLCH1
BLCH Hosting Schedule
Credits

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A WORD FROM ME...

Hiyas folks!! We have a lot of announcements this week in the Gazette -- so I am gonna get right to it here and save my rambling for another time!!

Okay now lets get on with the Gazette~~

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From Tre's Desk...

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ BLCH chatters and friends }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

It is with a tremendous amount of sadness that I submit this, my last article as the Room Manager/Host for the Best Lil ChatHouse. :/

As many of you know, on Monday, March 23 as of midnight ET, my position as Room Manager was eliminated. This is part of a restructuring of the host program, and I was not the only RM affected. As part of the elimination of my position, I can no longer be a host in the BLCH or anywhere in People Connection chat.

I wanted to express my thanks to each of you for being the best group of regs, chatters and friends a Room Manager could ever ask for. While my job was always challenging, it was never, ever a trial....and I can thank all of you, as well as my host team, for that. As I told my hosts yesterday, I would not trade the last two years for anything in the world.

I am NOT leaving AOL....I cannot bear the thought of leaving the friends and cyberfamily that I have grown to love. I will remain a loyal reg and chatter of both BLCH and BLCH-1.

The host team needs you now more than ever. Support them, visit their shifts...chat with the new members to help them out. Have FUN in there! I will be there helping the hosts right along with you. :D

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ BLCH hosts }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ BLCH friends }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Tre :D

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From the CootieGrax Files...

How Hot Is It In Hell?

A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam for his graduate students.

It had one question:

"Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof."

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities.

#1 If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

#2 Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms Therese Banyan during my Freshman year, "That it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and so Hell is exothermic."


This is CootieGrax........the student got the only A.

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~Queries for Quin~

Just a reminder. This column is available for Quinn to address your questions or concerns; AOL, Life, Liberties, or How to remove stubborns stains ( well, maybe not that last one)

So what the heck is AOL eager to let you know about now? What is new that they want you to see? Do you care? Should you? Here it is, Quinn's review of what Steve Case highlighted in his letters, for January, February and this March

Wondering What's New? Got a minute? Want to expand your horizons? Stop in to What's New on AOL to see The Latest and the ever-changing Hot 5. Every day we hunt down the very cool things happening on AOL and serve them up here. (Follow the masses?)

" Thrive is determined to help you keep those New Year's Resolutions with Kick Butt,Losing Weight in '98, Get Fit,and Enhance Your Relationship In '98. Better Health is also standing by to help you get serious about your resolutions with a digital conscience. You can sign up for this unique e-mail reminder service and receive resources & support opportunities each week. Your digital conscience can even have different "voices" for different goals!"

Oh joy, a computer that nags you like a bad "Jewish Mother" joke. Wonder if that is one of the "voices"? Jut what I need, Email with voices that say, "Did you do your execrises? What am I, your track coach? Go! Run. Run allready! OY!"

In case you've lost track of that place to visit on your comuter, so you can continue to not use that gym membership you swore you were going to use THIS year, "the Fitness area has moved from the Health Channel to the Sports Channel."

Apparently, you were all so unhealthy that you needed to move to the sports channel. I guess it was inevitable. Isn't sitting on your butt reading about health like sitting on the couch, watching healthy men in shorts and women in skimpy leotards on the Health channel exercise on tv? Maybe they should just move to Thrive?

Regarding the channel line up changes in general, as AOL keeps moving things, robbing Peter to pay Paul, and switching from a basic menu format, to the remote control, "if there are any other areas you think have gone missing, check the list in Click & Go "Where Is It?" Some things moved in the new channel lineup, but we can help you find your way back!"

Predictions. I predict that they need to add a "For entertainment purposes only" banner soon, like those midnite infomercials. You can try The Hub's Tarot to Go, then try "The Predictathon " -- just one of the new features in Astronet.

Desperate to find out what people with lives you think are more interesting than your own are up to? You can get your dose of celebrity voyeurism at "Hub Music: Games, reviews, ROCK-olutions and POP-dictions (New Year's Resolutions and Predictions for all your favorite artists.)"

From the "Well, it still isn't work yet/we need free test marketing groups department", we find that down at the "Game Channel they have added what they call the TestDrive: a special test area for the latest soon-to-be premium games, and Coming Attractions (special sneak previews) about games that are coming down the pike." Isn't this called "Beta Testing/Test Marketing" ?

With what many folks would say is long over-due announcement, the "Entertainment Asylum has two new genre areas for you: Action Explosion and Sci-Fi Zone." Since the movie industry tells us they market for people who buy tickets, and those are teenageers on a saturday night usually, isn't this one of the first areas they should have created?

Do you like to force people to look at vacation photos, wedding albums, and other things that make them come up with excuses like, "I have to wash the dog that night."? Have we got a site for you! "Learn how to share them online with help from the Interests Channel's Pictures department."

"They're B-A-A-A-C-K: Car and Driver's 1998 Buyer's Guide and the Road & Track 1998 Buyer's Guide." Well, yes, we would hope. This warrents an anouncement? Why weren't they ready last fall, when they started advertising these cars?

And finally, "New from WorkPlace -- Dun & Bradstreet @ AOL will keep you informed about the operations, profitability and stability of national and foreign companies. And, before starting a new project, check the databases for trademarks, patents and copyrights. (Someone else may have had that good idea first.)" (what can I add?)

PRICES Going up? Yes, starting April First ( April Fools' Day) Unlimited service will be going up in cost two dollars a month. For those of us who've been with AOL since it was 2.95 a minute, it's a Non-issue. For the rest of you, it might make you pause, for about 30 seconds. Where is the money going, regardless? More Modems so you can have different places to listen to busy signals, and more customer service reps, who can tell you, "Gee, we aren't aware of that.", or "It's your computer/phone line/third party carrier, not us."

Valetine's Day on AOL This was almost too cynical for even ME to deal with, so I hid it from you, until AFTER the holiday. Ready-made Dear John letters? I quote, "If life hasn't been the same since the OJ trial, catch up on The Trial of Cupid." Even the new WorkPlace channel gets in the mood with a special series on Office Romance (Is that OVAL OFFICE?) And of course, they promoted buying gifts to buy somone;s affections, and a contest to win 10,000 dolloars cash, becaue hey, that's what love is all about, right? cold hard cash.

Black History Month sections are still alive and well on AOL. Most of it was predictable fair from the History Channel, on AOL, etc, but the Race Relations in Black and White actually DID examines America's deepest rift and brings together opinions, dialog and solutions.

NEW YORK CITY, and Addicts. Interesting that they felt the need to highlight both Digital City New York, a "lively guide to everything that's great about NYC", and then follow it immediately with a "Happy Birthday", you are one year old Addiction & Recovery Forum. OK, so you aren't addicted or going to an over-priced show on Broadway, Hey! How about a heart attack? Yes, it was national Heart Attack Month (February) Lets rounded things out with some information, such as ; Get Better Heart Health (what are your chances of having a heart attack?) American Heart Association, informed decisions about medical issues, MEDLINE, and ask the experts your questions about fitness, mental & women's health and much more.)

March is Madness That period each year were supposedly rational, thinking people seem facinated by people who "dribble." The NCAA Tournament Fan Central is there just for you. Go there to talk sports, not the room I'm hosting, PLEASE!

Women's History Month: Research and Learn's Women's History/Women's Rights area will be featured all month with the history of women's rights; women's suffrage; daily biography; important dates in women's history and a timeline of events. Space Exploration Online celebrates Women's History Month with Women Who Soar. Here you'll find resources on women's role in space exploration. Thrive brings you Tests Women Shouldn't Miss (select your age range and find out which medical tests you should get) and a new area devoted to Sports Injuries.

Wearin' o' the Green: Irish Heritage Month includes information on Celts, St. Patrick, Ireland, Famous Irish Americans, and a special area devoted to Irish Literature. The International Channel focuses world-wide attention on St. Patrick's Day. The Addiction & Recovery Forum is sponsoring an all-day 1998 Safe & Sober St. Pat's Party for all you amature Guinness drinkers out there. Does everyone know that corned beef and cabbage is an American invention? Did you know that in Ireland, it;s a religious holiday... no drunkn parades, no drunks in general.

Are you desperate to see if who wins, or are you pining that Leonardo didn't get a nomination (face it, tenny-boppers, he can;t act. He's a marketing ploy, and you fell for it. The star of the film? The computer animators.) Well, if you want to know all about the Academy Awards, try Hollywood's Big Night Do you feel insignificant in the presence of "celebrities"? Right before the awards come on TV, AOL will choose a few lucky people to sit in the VIP rows of our online AOL Live awards ceremony. (whatever that is) These members will be hobnobbing with surprise celebrity guests and get the chance to jump right on stage with the hilarious hosts of our awards show. E! Online, the newest offering from the Entertainment Channel, gives instant and direct access to original entertainment news, gossip, celebrities, movies and TV information. (OK, I admit it, I watch "Skunkboy" with the Talk Soup Weekly windup show of the worst moments of Talkshows each week, for my weekly does of Jerrry Springer (my favorite, "Look at the stupid trailer trash on TV" show)

Flaps Up: Take off into the aerial action of the all-new Air Warrior II. Experience the thrill of flying a P51-D Mustang in the World War II as you engage your enemies in this incredible 3-D flight simulation. And if you're using a Mac, make sure to try the original Mac Air Warrior, especially designed for the Mac game enthusiast.

As if my review and there promoting it before wasn't enough, AOL reminds us once again about the Teens Channel. and I QUOTE; "The coolest place for teens online has great departments that explore teen issues, styles and celebrities and also features great content from Teen People - the new online area associated with the enormously popular new teen magazine." WOW! Erkle, you read that? To quote further, "Watch this month for a Prom Mania Special and the 1st Annual Teen Favorites Movie Awards. " It really is a good area. I just wish they'd stop talking about it as if it was run by the pep squad.

Finally: I wouldn;t be living up to my cynical reputation, if I didn't remind you that taxes are still due April 15. Personal Finance's Tax Planning area and AOL Classified's Tax Preparation Center . AOL WorkPlace presents the new Business Tax Center. Personal Finance is proud to announce the new & much improved Real Estate Center. Have you looked at Portfolio Direct yet? The Banking Center has been redesigned to better assist you with your online banking. (What? You're bank charges you major extra fees too? Yep, mine does, and that;s why I use my own access method; the car.)

That's it for this episode. Now back to your less curmudgeonly reporters. -Quinn

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And on to Part 2...